abraham's daughter
by abbyli
Summary: "She made you decent. And in return, you made her so happy." emma/killian, post 2x11
1. i was looking for a breath of life

title**: abraham's daughter  
**summery**: he is standing like an idiot, not even aware of that car heading right their way. "hook, look out!" she cries, giving him a shove. and then there is the most unbearable pain, unlike anything she has experienced before. post 2x11  
**pairing**: killian/emma, henry is featured, slight emma/graham  
**rating**: strong T  
**disclaimer**: i do not own once upon a time.  
**notes**: so think of it happening a little different. emma gets there in time to see hook waving around that gun and confronting belle and gold. she goes to stop him, managing to talk him down but then that car speeds through and emma is the one that is hit.  
****this will turn into a multi if enough of you wonderful people want it too.**

* * *

She sees the text come through, lighting up her phone.

"What is it?" asks David, hearing the buzz from his desk.

She glances at her phone and her eyebrows rise. "It's from Belle."

_911, town line_

And it dawns on her. "Uh-oh."

"What?"

She rises slowly out of her chair, her eyes still on her phone as she reaffirms her pistol at her waist. David watches her for a moment and then follows suit.

"It's not good, is it?"

Emma shakes her blond mane. "No, it's not."

**/**

"He took everything from me! Now I am going to take everything from him!"

Belle had managed to stuff her phone back in her pocket before the other man had seen it. She hopes and prays with all of her might that Emma Swan can talk this man down. She knows that Emma is Hook's soft spot and just maybe...

Her prayers are granted when she sees the flash of lights.

"Hook!"

That gets the pirate to lower the pistol. He turns ever so slightly, finding the princess in his line of vision, her own gun ready in her hands.

"Well, hello Swan. Come to watch me end the crocodile once and for all?"

"Hook, you're being stupid!" Emma cursed. "Drop the gun!"

"Sorry, love. Nothing can stop me, not even a lovely lass like you," he replies lowly, not taking his eyes off of Gold.

"This isn't going to bring Milah back, Hook! This is for nothing! He is not worth it, don't you understand?! No matter what you do to Gold or to Belle, you are not going to make yourself feel any better!"

"Listen to her, Hook!" cries the man that had arrived with her. His own pistol is trained on his right arm, ready to shoot the gun out of his hands.

"Who are you?" he finds himself asking the blonde man. He is oddly familiar in some ways even though he knows he has never laid eyes on him in his whole entire life.

"I'm Emma's father," the man confirms. Just as he thought...he remembers Emma briefly mentioning that back in the Forest, due to the fact that her mother looked the same age as her.

This girl had no idea how lucky she was. Despite being labeled as the 'curse-breaker', she had everything in the world at her fingertips. Parents who loved her, a son, friends, family. She had so much more than he did. He had nothing. What right was it of hers to say that this wouldn't bring him satisfaction? This crocodile had taken everything from him and she's telling him to let it go.

"You fought for three hundred years, Killian," the sound of his real name on her lips makes him more alert. It had been awhile since he had heard that, heard even the sound of hope. "Let it go and walk away. You can be better than Gold."

Be the better man...he has been told that so many times in his too long of a life.

Be the better man...how the hell was he supposed to do that?

The desperation was evident in Emma's voice. "Please, Killian."

The pistol is lowered a half of an inch.

Gold's eyes widen ever so slightly. He's actually impressed at what is unfolding before his very eyes. He never thought that Killian Jones would back down but then again...

And then it dawns on him.

Belle had always been the one that had been able to stop him from making a horrible mistake. She had been the person that could calm him with just a few words, a gentle touch. She was his true love, his forever.

And it looks like the man that had been hunting him for three hundred years had finally found his forever.

**/**

The pistol lowered another half of an inch.

Emma's eyes watch the gun for a moment, seeing it drop. Relief pools in her belly and she lets out a tiny sigh.

"Please, Killian," she breathes. "Please."

Once that gun drops, the pirate's whole exterior crumbles. She can see the tears that he is viciously holding back, masked by the trembling of his shoulders. She quickly returns her pistol to it's holster and walks carefully towards the pirate.

And all he sees is this blonde creature slowly approaching him, one hand held out. She's offering him a way out. A way to live. A way to move on.

Neither of them see the headlights coming from afar until it's too late.

The car isn't slowing down.

David is the first to see it, gesturing frantically in Emma's direction. She finally does notice the headlights but realizes that the pirate isn't budging an inch.

"Killian, we have to move off the road now, okay?" she whispers. "Can you hear me?"

The car is getting closer and closer. She can see the driver's face in the windshield and he isn't paying any attention to what he is doing. It's almost unreal.

Almost.

And Killian hasn't moved. He is standing there like an idiot, not even aware of the car heading right their way.

It is that moment that Emma Swan makes a choice. A choice of survival and of love.

"Killian, look out!" In record time, she dashes across the last few yards and gives him a shove, finally pulling out of his stupor. He stumbles and falls over the edge of curb, landing on his back.

And then she feels nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It's like the wind has rushed through her, taking her right off of her feet and bringing her into brilliant flight like the swan that she is. She allows her wings to rise up, taking herself up into the air. She is flying, flying so high and so full of life.

The other bird circles her, a tiny little sparrow with wings beating so fast in an attempt to stay with her.

"_Emma! Emma, you can't go!" _

"_Henry, let go!" _

And she falls, shot out of the sky.

There is pain. The most unbearable pain that she has ever experienced. It runs through her veins from inside out, white hot and agonizing. It tears her to shreds, little pieces that are sure to be stomped into dust and carried away into the wind.

"_EMMA!" _

**/**

Her father's voice was all she could hear and flashing red and blue lights were all she could see.

David's face swam in and out of those lights, those sea green eyes so like hers filled with tears. He was never one that could hold his emotions in very well, anything that had anything to do with her or her mother or Henry could definitely cause him to go over the edge.

"Emma, sweetheart, you're going to be okay. It's all going to be okay."

But was it?

The pain was gone. All of it was gone.

A sweet and warm glow carried her, holding her up. She could scarcely feel David's hands holding hers, gently stroking the back of her palms in what she guessed was supposed to be a reassuring way. She couldn't remember anyone ever holding her like this. She always had to scream the loudest, jump the highest to be noticed.

She tried to form words but found she couldn't. Now that bugged her just a bit. The swan wasn't supposed to be silenced.

There was another voice that joined her father's, just a few words that reached her over the raging sea.

"_Hold on, Emma. Hold on." _

I'm not done with you yet.

But that light was rising up before her, blotting out the faces and the flashing bulbs of iridescence. It was so warm, so comfortable.

She wondered if Graham was behind that light.

That damn voice was back, pleading with her. Begging her not to go.

She didn't want to go. She had just gotten her family back, her son, her ability to believe.

_Believe. _

And she could hear him again.

"_Believe in that, Emma. Believe in me!" _

She could see him too, just for a moment. His face was coated with blood and bruises and he looked on the verge of collapse. But, somehow he was able to break through that beautiful haze of golden light. But she couldn't fight it. The golden rays were taking over once again.

"_Emma, please." _

She went into the light.

* * *

**Tell me, should I continue?**


	2. graham

_**graham**_

* * *

**a/n: Because all of you lovelies wanted more...**

* * *

_There was so much light. _

_Warm, loving, comforting, and beautiful. _

_She spread her wings, letting the radiant beams soak into her feathers. She rustled them, the water falling off of the strips of velvet, almost like raindrops. They were the perfect wings, so soft, so long, so full. _

_And for the first time in her life, she felt perfect. _

_It's so inviting, so restful and stunning. She could lay on this ray of light forever. _

_But why couldn't she ignore this feeling? A feeling like...like she was supposed to be someplace. Like she had forgotten something. _

_She hated that feeling. _

_Her wings arch and she can feel the air underneath them. It's a welcoming light, full of a gentleness that she doesn't remember ever experiencing in her lifetime. With another soft sail, she comes to a landing and the wings fold back, disappearing and receding into her back. She stays were she is, her head bowed and blond curls falling around her face. She wants to hold onto that moment; that memory forever._

_But maybe she doesn't have too. She has finally gotten forever by going into the light._

"_Emma?" _

_Her head shoots up and she sees him. The lost love of her life, the man that she thought that she could start over with. He was there and so damn beautiful. _

"_Graham?" She fights the urge to run and leap into his arms. Looking down, she realises that there is no floor beneath her. Just more light. _

"_Emma, what are you doing here?" Graham is dressed all in white, his auburn hair a blaze of copper around his temples, that adorable beard still scratching his face. She always liked men with beards. _

"_I don't know," she wonders aloud. "Something was going on and I got hurt." The memories are a fuzzy blur, that nagging feeling still quite evident. _

_Graham strides through the light, finding her quickly and pulling her into his embrace. "I have missed you so much," he breathes into her tumble of golden tresses. "I am so glad to see you." _

"_Oh, Graham..." her voice is a sigh. "I have missed you."_

"_But Emma, you don't belong here. I don't understand why-" _

_When his fingers stroke her cheek, when that touch begins, that electric touch, she feels it. And she remembers. _

The car.

Headlights.

Hook standing there like an idiot.

And pain...the most horrible pain.

"_I died, didn't I?" _

"_You're not dead yet," Graham says gently. "You're in between."_

"_In between?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow. _

"_Where you make the choice if you want to go on or not. You can continue on with me, I will guide you forward. Or you can go back and try to put your life back together." _

_Her stomach twists and tears burn her eyes. "Henry..." _

"_Exactly. Henry," Graham confirms gently. "But there are others. Your parents, your friends..." his voice trails off for a moment. "...Killian." _

_And she can hear the pirate's voice, begging her to believe. Begging her to stay. _

"Believe in that! Believe in me!"

_Killian._

_Damn that pirate. _

_She had given up her life for him. _

_Then again, she could stay here. She wouldn't have to be 'the savior' anymore. She didn't have to be the goddess that everyone worshipped because she broke the curse. All of it could go away. _

**_/_**

"I don't understand. You said that there was no heartbeat," David pants.

The paramedics are spread out all over the clearing, checking on everyone that was there. Three are practically wrapped around Emma's still and crumpled form, keeping her heart beating and her lungs full of air.

She was dying...there was almost no chance.

"There's a faint one," says the one medic, pointing to the screen with one hand and keeping the other hand elevated around the girl's limp wrist. "She's barely alive. I'll be surprised if she makes it to the hospital."

**/**

"_You're still alive, Emma." _

"_Barely," she murmurs, looking behind her. She feels like she is at a retro drive-in movie, watching the scenes unfold in front of her. She can see herself, her body broken and crumpled into the gravel like a piece of paper. The helpless paramedics are doing what they can to stem the flow of blood from her limbs but it seems like they are failing miserably. _

_She doesn't feel any different. In fact, she feels better than she has in years. Open, free, this miserable weight lifted off of her shoulders. _

_And then she sees _him.

**/**

He is being treated by another paramedic, his head wound being dabbed at with a piece of gauze. He slaps at the medic's hand, trying desperately to escape and be by her side.

"Heal her!" he shouts, ignoring the paramedic's alarmed gaze.

That's when Gold comes into view, a shaken Belle in his arms. Hook manages to escape from the paramedic's grasp and practically dives at the Dark One.

"You need to get over there and heal her! Now!" he shouts at Gold, his ragged features broken with desperation and...was it grief?

"I can't," Gold says quickly. "I do not have those kind of powers here."

Hook looks like he's ready to take a swing at the wizard but he is stopped by David.

David? Of all people?

"Hook! This isn't going to help Emma!" her father says, gently pulling the pirate back.

**_/_**

"_Why did he do that?" Emma asks quietly, her head bowed. She finds that she can't even look Graham in the eye._

"_Who? Killian?" Graham glances at her, slightly amused. "Well, I don't know."_

_She shoots him a dirty look before turning back towards the pool of clear water. _

**_/_**

She is being gently lifted onto a stretcher, wrapped in blankets like a burrito. She sees that Killian has been sedated and still fighting the effects as he is lifted into the ambulance, belted down.

"Emma, can you hear me?!" he calls as she is lifted in beside him. "Emma!"

The paramedic calls it in on his radio. "One male, one female, both late twenties coming in with trauma from a hit and run accident."

The flatline takes over.

"What is that?! What is that?!" Killian's panicked voice made her own head spin. "What's wrong with her?!"

"Damn it, no heartbeat," the one fireman says, ignoring Killian. "Get me the paddles."

"First push an eppy," says the other fireman as he continues with CPR.

The first one lets out a grunt as he pushes the needle into her IV bag. "Okay, eppy's in. Charging to 300."

**_/_**

_She feels the shock. It races right through her heart._

**_/_**

"She's back."

**/**

"_Emma, you can't keep doing this." _

_She looks up, her eyes finding his gentle ones, filled with love and peace. _

_She wanted to stay. She wanted to stay so bad..._

"_I know." _

**_/_**

"You stay with me, do you hear?! Stay with me, Emma!"

"We're going to lose her," the one medic says.

"_EMMA_!"

**/**

"_Emma." _

_Her wings quiver ever so slightly. She wants to fly away, escape all of this. _

_Graham's eyes, golden and brown and so full of light, of hope, they keep her grounded. _

_And then those eyes become like the sea, stormy and slashed with grey and silver. Eyes that drive her crazy and make her want to do outrageous things. _

"_I want to stay," she whispers, startled at the tears that are suddenly gathering. _

"_I know you do," Graham says. "I know, baby." _

"_But I can't, can I?" _

"_There's always a choice, Emma," he breathes. "It has to be your choice. But you are running out of time." _

"_What happens if I don't choose?" she asks, lifting her hand to swipe at the tears that are slowly slipping down her cheeks. Graham's fingers catch her hand and gently dabs at those tears before they fall. "Will I be lost?" _

_He doesn't even have to utter the words because she knows. She knows what will happen if she doesn't make the choice. _

_Just a few months ago, she would have happily welcomed death. She was so close to the edge already and there was no hope. No magic. _

_No trust. _

_But somehow, in these last months, especially in the last few weeks, that magic had come alive. _

_Henry had always begged her to believe, to show hope that maybe things would could just get better. She had fallen passionately in love with that boy and knew that if she tried, she could be there. _

_If she let go now...she didn't know and didn't want to know what would happen to him. His faith in magic, his joy at the world...it could all be gone. _

_She knew Regina loved him very much but she wouldn't try to extend his beliefs. She would tell him that he needed to shut it down and let it go. _

_She could never do that. _

_And that damn pirate..._

_He reminded her of the love she had lost but then again, he was something else. _

_He reminded her of her and it scared her. _

_They had both suffered so much in their lives, so much sadness and loss. They really were 'lost'. _

_Finding each other had brought out the best and brought out the worst. Could it become more? Could she trust him? _

_Did she even want to take a chance? _

**_/_**

He listens to the steady beep-beep of the machines, not understanding what they really did to help but knowing that they were revealing that she was alive.

Emma was alive.

But barely.

Her heart had stopped two more times during the twenty minute drive to wherever they were and somehow those magicians had brought her back. All he wanted was to see her sea green eyes looking up at him, even with hate or disgust or the need to punch him one more time. She had to be okay. She just...she had to be.

He couldn't go through this again.

"Open your eyes, Emma..." he whispers, the fingers of his hand finding hers in that muss of blankets. "Open your eyes."

**/**

**"**_Emma, open your eyes." _

_She turns slightly, feeling Graham's hands on hers. Her eyes slip closed, feeling the tracks of tears still on her cheeks. _

"_Open your eyes," he whispers again, his fingertips keeping that steady pressure. "Open your eyes." He knows she has made her choice. _

_His voice was fading. _

_His touch was fading. _

"_Open your eyes." _

**_/_**

Her eyes opened.

* * *

**So that's chapter two, Emma hovering dangerously between life and death with Graham as her guide while Killian is begging her to come back to him.**

**Graham will not be appearing in the rest of the story but he will be thought of a few times. I like to think of Graham being the one that could have fixed Emma but then, Regina killed him. (I still hate that!)**

**I couldn't have all of her thoughts focused on Killian, despite it being marked as an Emma/Hook story. She had to think about Henry and how her letting go would probably destroy that boy. Henry is going to be a prominent figure in this story as well as well as gaining a growing relationship with Killian. I noticed that he seemed to know everything about Killian after Emma and Snow got back to their world so...**

**Anyway, I'll shut up now. I hope you enjoyed and review? **


	3. i fall right back to you

_**i fall right back to you**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**.**_

She floats in and out for the next several days, not finding her anchor onto dry land.

It was pain...that was all she could feel...

She had made that choice to stay. She had decided to keep going because of Henry, to continue to fight in this life.

But right now, she couldn't feel anything except pain. Except agony...

She wanted to let go again. She wanted to be with Graham. She wishes she hadn't held on.

There's a voice at her ear, soft and welcoming.

Begging her to hold on.

"_Please...just stay with me..." _

* * *

"Mom? Mom, can you hear me?"

There is a brief flutter before her eyes finally open.

Henry lets out a gasp of relief before his tiny hand goes to cover her bruised one. "I thought so!"

She tries to speak but there's something blocking her. With a sudden choking realization, she brings up that bruised hand to point at her throat. Henry immediately gets the picture.

"I'll be right back!" With speed she didn't know the kid had, he dashes out of the room and leaves her so alone.

Moments later, he returns with Dr. Whale by his side, along with a nurse clad in pink scrubs.

"Well, welcome back to the living, Sheriff," Whale says with a smile. He gently pushes Henry back and approaches the bed on one side, the nurse on the other. They exchange silent instructions to each other and the nurse gently removes the tape from around her mouth. "All right, Emma. I want you to breathe in through your nose and then blow out of your mouth as hard as you can, all right?" His hand grips down on the edge of the tube, already disconnected from the ventilator. "Ready?" She manages a weak nod. "Blow!"

Having a respirator tube removed from a person's throat is probably the most uncomfortable thing ever. She feels the thick plastic slide through her esophagus and then crack lightly against her teeth, finally out of her mouth. She lets out a heavy hacking cough, desperately trying to find the breath that had been knocked out of her less than a week ago. The nurse suctions the rest of the fluid out of her mouth and helps her sip a little bit of water.

"How do you feel?" Whale asks her, glancing at the machines that are monitoring her vitals.

"Like I've been hit by a bus," she moans, noticing just how crackly her voice is.

"Actually, it was a Ford Escape," Whale says.

"Haha." Then her eyes take in her surroundings.

She's in a private hospital room (of course), surrounded by flowers and Get Well cards. She glances down to her feet and sees that she has one leg up in a pulley, caked in plaster with one arm doing the same.

Damn, it's her shooting hand.

Well, time to be a leftie shooter.

"Your leg is broken in three places," says Whale, reading her thoughts. "The breaks are clean though so it shouldn't take that long to heal. Your hand is going to take a bit more time and I do believe you are going to have to go to physical therapy. You also four cracked ribs and several bruises and contusions. I wouldn't recommend looking in a mirror for a while."

Emma tries to roll her eyes and winds up wincing in pain. Just the mere movement of that causes her to cry out softly.

"I'll get you something for the pain," Whale murmurs.

"Was-was anyone else hurt?" she asks. Her eyes fall on Henry again who looks just so small by the window.

"The driver that hit you walked away with two broken ribs and a slight concussion. He's going to be fine. Gold wiped his memories and he's already on his way out of town."

Emma can't help the moan of relief that leaves her lips. The town's secret was safe.

"Your father and Belle are all right too. Mr. Gold took her home. And Hook-or Killian Jones, whatever his name is, he wasn't hurt in the crash. I tried to admit him for the injuries that he sustained after getting the crap beaten out of him by Gold but he wouldn't stay in his room. He was here until you woke up two nights ago and then he took off."

_He was here. _

* * *

She knew he was there before she opened her eyes.

She could feel his presence.

"Why did you save me?"

Of course he knew she was awake. Damn pirate senses.

Emma slowly pries her eyes open. She can see the young (actually quite old) man sitting in one of those extremely uncomfortable chairs in the corner. The darkness shades his face just right but there is also a sliver of silver moonlight resting on his midnight hair.

"You betrayed me," he continues softly. He isn't even looking at her, kind of past her somewhere in the dimly lit room. "You hate me."

Emma sighs softly, shifting slightly and wincing in pain. She had forgotten, just for a little while, that she had been hit by a car less than a week before, her whole life changed again.

She didn't want anymore changes.

But she had this pirate to deal with. This pirate that she had almost died for.

"I don't hate you, Hook," she chokes out, her throat sore. "I don't hate you."

He rises slowly out of the chair, making his way towards her across the linoleum floor. There is a hitch in his breathing and she wonders if the pirate is close to tears.

"Then _why _did you save me?" he asks again. His blue eyes are so bright. So blue. "Why did you save me, Emma?"

"Because I didn't want to see you die," she shoots back, ignoring the searing pain in her throat. "Okay? Is that answer good enough for you?"

"You barely know me."

It scares her just how vulnerable the damn pirate sounds.

Right now she'd take that stupid speeding car again over looking in those eyes.

"I think I know you enough."

"Are you just trying to repay me?"

Emma tries to shake her head and is rewarded with a searing white hot pain in her forehead. A tiny whimper escapes and a tear slips down her cheek. Luckily he knows that the tears are of pain and not for him.

Or maybe, not so luckily.

"Are you in pain?" he breathes. "I'll leave."

"No!"

He stops at the door.

"With you gone, all I have to concentrate on is the pain," she whispers. "Why don't you stick around?"

The pirate turns on his heel, eyes meeting hers.

And then he smirks.

"Looking for a distraction, eh?"

"Something like that."

So he stays.

They barely talk. He stays beside her, back in that horribly uncomfortable chair, right next to her bed. After what seems like forever, he begins to tell her about a particularly distressing and dangerous voyage that he and his crew went on (this was all before Milah) and they were attacked by sirens.

She finds the sound of his voice soothing, much to her distress. And she finds the pain slowly ebbing away as his voice takes her away into that magical world of mermaids, faeries, and a simple joy that makes it all okay.

It's around seven in the morning that she wakes up and he's gone.

She wonders if she dreamt the whole thing.

* * *

Emma is released from the hospital two weeks later, ordered to go home and rest. She's stuck in a wheelchair for the time being until her back heals up and then she can get up on crutches.

And of course, Emma Swan is _pissed_.

"My back is fine. I can walk out of here on crutches," she whines for the third time in the last hour as her mother helps her slowly get dressed.

"Emma, I am not going to repeat myself anymore. You will take it easy and heal, allow your father to take over for a while. Let me baby you. I have twenty eight years to make up for it."

Emma shoots her mother a dirty look, her lip slipping out in a pout as she crosses her still aching arms in front of her chest.

"This is ridiculous."

"No, young lady, what's ridiculous is that you were hit by a car three weeks ago and you find yourself ready to run a marathon!"

"But-"

"Emma, no!"

"Hmph."

She sees Mary Margaret watching her out of the corner of her eye and lets out a groan. "Why are you staring at me?!"

The petite woman shakes her head, a soft smile creasing her lips. "Just looking at what I missed these last years," she replies with that smile growing. "Now, young lady, either shut up and let me take care of you or-"

"Okay, okay!" Emma gives in, sensing the 'Mom tone' cutting through. Being without parents for her whole life had hardened her, given her a shell to hide underneath. But in these last months, especially sense finding out that Mary Margaret and David were her parents (still trying to figure that one out), she has chosen that just maybe she can act a bit. Test her limits.

And she's found her limit right here with her mother. Jeez, what is she? Five?

* * *

The boy sees the pirate as he follows his family out of the hospital.

It's only for a brief moment but he knows that he saw him.

So, of course, inheriting his mother's nosiness, he follows.

There's a swish of a long black coat just as he turns the corner and the boy quickens his pace.

"Mr. Hook!"

Okay, he never thought he'd be calling Captain Hook _that. _

Henry flies around the corner and nearly trips over his own feet. He sees that same stupid coat turning another corner and knows that he can't possibly catch up.

"Mr. Jones!"

The click-clack of the pirate's boots still.

And then he finds the pirate right in front of him.

"What is it that you want, lad?" he asks, indigo eyes piercing.

Henry lets out a small sigh, a hand clutching at the stitch in his side. "I just wanted to ask you if you had been staying with my mom."

The pirate raises a bushy brow. "Pardon?"

"My mom seems so much better than she should be. She's talking back to her mother, she's driving the nurses crazy. I can tell she's in pain but she's hiding it."

The young (old) pirate lets a tiny smile crease his lips. "I never pictured your mother as the type to show pain."

Henry's eyes trace the hook shining on the man's hand before bringing his gaze back up to his face. "If you did, thank you. Thank you for staying with her."

And with that, the boy turns away.

Hook stares at his retreating back for a split second. "Wait!"

Henry stops, allowing his small body to shift. "Why?"

"I am alive and walking around while your mother is crippled. She saved me! Did she tell you that?!"

Henry can hear the desperation in the man's voice and feels a surge of pity. Even at eleven years old, he was quite aware of what is going on in this world and he can sense the connection between his mother and the pirate to whom he had never met until now.

But he knew. He had known that the man was there with his mother. Guarding her, protecting her through the night and through the pain.

He was there.

That was all that mattered to the boy.

"I don't hate you, Mr. Jones," Henry says softly.

"_Henry!" _

The boy looks behind him. "That's my grandmother. I have to go."

Killian nods. "All right, lad. Take care of your mother."

Before he disappears around the corner, Henry shoots a soft smile in his direction.

"Of course."

And then he's gone.

And the pirate feels a little bit of the loneliness starting to leave his heart.

* * *

_**song suggestion: 'clarity' by zedd**_

* * *

**I am so sorry about not updating in forever. I had a half chapter finished and then my computer crashed and I lost everything that I had. It's taken me a while to put what I had back together and in the end, I decided to go another way. I do hope that if there is anyone still interested, they will stick around. This is going to have lots of hurt/comfort (who can resist angsty/hurty!Captain Swan?) and family moments. I loved the Captain Charming in the finale and how Charming is starting to realize that this pirate really cares for Emma. **

**Anyway, thanks guys. I do hope you will take the time to review. ****J**


	4. home again

_**home again**_

* * *

**.**

**.**

"All right, here we are. Home safe and sound."

Emma feels a groan rising her throat and manages to force it back as Mary Margaret hit's the lights and gently guides her into the loft. David follows close behind, carrying the bags and the truckload of pharmaceutical supplies for her broken and healing body. Henry brings up the rear, closing the door behind his grandfather.

"Yeah, tell that to a hit and run victim," she moans as Mary shifts her over to the couch.

"Well, if you think that we are letting you out of this loft for another ten years, you've got another thing coming," Mary smirks before lowering a comforter over her legs. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Sucky.

"Emma, it's not nice to lie."

"Fine. I feel horrible. My leg hurts like hell, my hand looks disgusting, I can barely breathe due to my ribs being wrapped up, and I smell like a barn yard. You happy?"

Mary doesn't even blink at the scorn in her daughter's voice. "Good. I'm glad you told me the truth." And with that, she kicks off her shoes, pads into the tiny half-kitchen, and sets to preparing tea.

Emma glances up and up and up to find her enormously tall father staring down at her, Henry by his side. She raises her eyebrows and David cracks a smile.

"Is this going to be you during recovery?" he asks, folding his arms across his chest. "Are you going to be nasty and rude and grumpy?"

"Don't you think I have a right?" Emma asks. But moments later, she softens. "I'm sorry. I'm just in a really bad mood."

"Understandable. Especially since you threw yourself in front of a car less than three weeks ago."

"Mary Margaret, I'm sorry," Emma calls out, watching her mother's petite form moving around in the small kitchenette.

Mary Margaret just shrugs a shoulder as she pours hot water into a mug. "It doesn't matter, Emma. Next time, I will just yell right back."

Now, that's my mother.

She cracks a weak smile as Mary Margaret gently places the mug into her good hand, along with two painkillers.

"Take your pills and try to get some rest, okay? You've got a long night ahead of you."

Ain't that the truth.

Emma pops the pills without arguing, slowly sipping the tea. Henry sits beside her on the couch, almost afraid to leave her sight for fear she would disappear. Emma lets her good arm rest around his shoulders and pulls him close, pressing her lips to the top of his head.

"You okay, kid?"

Henry gives a tiny nod. "I will be once you're better."

She chuckles softly. "I will be soon. It's just going to take some time."

And then he asks the same question that she can't seem to find the answer for.

"Why did you save him?"

His voice is so low that only she can hear it.

Emma lets out a small sigh, leaning back into the comfortable cushions. The painkillers are finally kicking in so she doesn't even wince at the contact of her back to the pressure.

"I have absolutely no idea, Henry," Emma whispers. "He was standing there like a moron, ready to die. And I just-I guess I couldn't let him. He's kind of pitiful, don't you think?"

Henry laughs softly. "I guess so." He grows quiet. "I saw him when Grandma and Grandpa were helping you outside."

"You did?"

"He saw me too and tried to take off but I caught up with him."

"What did he say?"

Henry raises a brow at his mother's tone but continues on. "He's worried about you. And he feels really guilty about what happened."

Emma lets the boy's words sink in. She feels a slight jab of pain in her ribs and winces.

"Well, he shouldn't."

Henry gives a tiny shrug of the shoulders. "He does. And he will until you talk to him."

* * *

Despite the fact that he had been stalking the town from the outside for what seemed like forever, he had never felt so alone. So terrified. A little fish in a very big pond.

He stays on the Jolly Roger for what seems like an eternity. He's still veiled by Cora's disguise but there was only a matter of time before someone, someone like his crocodile, figured it out. It didn't matter if he had moved the damn ship, he was still there.

And he wasn't leaving until he knew that his swan was going to be all right.

"Mr. Hook! I mean, Mr. Jones!"

And one day, that someone came in the form of an eleven year old boy.

He knows that he should just ignore the lad. There was no reason for him to even reveal his location.

He watches as Henry paces the dock, looking around wildly in each and every direction. "I know you're around here somewhere! It's the only place where you _could _be."

He hopes the lad hurries up and leaves. He has to move.

"My mom's doing much better! And she wants to see you!"

What-?

"She's up and walking around, being mean to her mom, cranky as heck, but she's a lot better. She's healing!"

_She wants to see you. _

Those five little words repeat in his head like a mantra.

_She wants to see you. _

Finally, the boy gives up and leaves, cautiously climbing down from the high docks and back into the safety of the soft grass. He remains on the deck until the boy disappears from sight, and then he goes down into his cabin.

What right did he have to show his face there? Even if Swan wanted to see him, it was probably to shoot him.

But he remembered that night in the hospital.

"_I don't hate you." _

He remembered her words but he highly doubted that she remembered. She was in so much pain that night, all that pain because of him. If he had just moved!

But he hadn't wanted too. He was hoping that speeding contraption would hit him and just end it all. He was ready for a way out.

She wasn't about to let him get off that easily.

It had been a long time since someone had even bothered to try and protect him.

Mother died when he was a child, father walked off when he was fifteen, he had taken off into an unknown world to find a bit of peace.

That was when he first tumbled into Neverland. He wasn't exactly sure how in God's name he got there but he was there. And hell have it all, he never wanted to leave. He could be young forever, he could forget the pain, the anguish. The sadness of finding himself abandoned by those he had loved.

In Neverland, he had found his true family. Other lost boys like himself who took to his ways and considered him their leader of true fun and happiness.

He liked being a leader.

He hated being a follower. He hated depending on other people.

It wasn't easy to trust after what had happened to him all before the tender age of fifteen but in these boys, these boys who were so much like him, he was able to find it. He was able to find that simplicity, that happiness that he so craved.

So he did become their leader.

And he lived.

But after what seemed like an eternity, he found himself missing his home. He wanted to move forward a bit.

He left Neverland with a promise to return. He allowed Rufio to come in and take over as their leader and made the other boy swear to watch after the boys. He left and found himself growing older, finding an anchor onto dry land while his heart became drawn to the sea.

And then he met Milah.

Again, his life did a 180 and he found he didn't need to return to Neverland. He had already grown too old to become the Lost Boys' leader once again and he knew that they were safe and protected by Rufio. There was no need to go back.

Until Milah was murdered in front of him and he lost his hand.

He had heard the stories of the great Captain Hook but never had the cause to meet him. He had sometimes wondered if the man ever truly existed or maybe he was just a tale that was meant to become real someday.

So he made it real.

He became that legendary villain, ready to fight anyone who dared to cross him. He went back to Neverland and found himself shunned by the Lost Boys, by the group of young men that he considered his family. Rufio had become a warrior and matched well against him.

So he didn't even bother to fight. He knew he wasn't wanted.

And for three hundred years he looked for his revenge. He searched for a way to get back and to find his crocodile. To skin him alive and to mount him on his ship. Maybe...maybe it would take some of the pain away.

When he happens across the blond swan, everything changes.

For a moment, he able to let go of his revenge and focus all of his attention on this woman with a passion. He wonders if she realizes just how lucky she really is. She has found everything, she has found her family and her life again. She never had to be 'lost'.

When she betrays him, leaves him at the top of the beanstalk, he finds that maybe he's still lost.

So he focuses on his revenge once again and makes it over to her world. He finds that none of it was worth it and that maybe he should have killed the girl when he had the chance.

And when she sees her again, trying to softly talk him down from that revenge, he knows he couldn't have. She was too beautiful, so full of magic and hope and there was no way he could have blotted her light from the world. She had wanted to get back to her lad so bad and he finds that he doesn't remember Milah ever fighting that hard. Milah had wanted out, she had wanted her escape from an unhappy marriage. And she was capable of leaving her son behind

Emma Swan wasn't.

And when she reaches out, fights for _him_, he finds that maybe that bean of his could find the world and find the peace that he so desperately craves.

And when she saves his miserable life...nearly losing her own in the process.

How can a person come back from that?

* * *

"Henry, are you out of your mind?! You went down there and talked to him?!"

The boy blinks his owlish eyes at her, having the audacity to actually look guilty for a moment. "I didn't even see him, Mom."

"What does that mean?"

"His ship is hidden somehow, I'm not sure. I just-I just told him that you were okay and that you were getting better."

Emma lets out a small groan. Great, that was all she needed.

Maybe.

Henry rolls his eyes. "Mom, why don't you tell him yourself?"

"Huh?"

"Tell him that you're better!" He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Henry, I think it's sweet how much you care but really, this isn't any of your concern." As soon as the words leave her mouth, she regrets them. Henry jumps on it like a dehydrated man diving into a lake. Henry was her son and really, he was just like her. He was never able to butt out of anybody's business.

"All right," the boy says with a smirk. "I'll make you a deal. You talk to him, tell him you're okay and that he can stop feeling guilty, and he can sail away on the Jolly Roger and you can go back to being sheriff and kicking butt."

Emma stares at her son for almost a full minute before allowing a burst of laughter to leave her lips. Henry starts to smile as well and she reaches out her good arm, gently pulling him against her still sore and aching form.

"I love you, kid."

* * *

But of course, she didn't do as her son asked.

It was a relief when the cast came off her leg about two weeks later, but was replaced with a brace that kept the joints perfectly aligned. The damn thing was more uncomfortable than the stupid cast.

Physical therapy was a royal pain the ass. To put it plain and simple, she hated it. She came out of there more exhausted than she came in, mumbling swear words about the stupid chirpy bitch in blue scrubs that kept telling her that she was doing so good and soon enough she'd be in tip-top shape.

"'Tip-top shape' my ass," she mumbles as David helps her into the car.

Her father just gives her a smile before climbing into the driver's seat. "That's the Emma that I know and love. Feeling better, eh?"

"If you call getting my butt handed to me in there feeling better, I guess I'm ready to run a race," Emma snaps, leaning back and resting her head on the cushion behind her.

"Would getting back to work help you get out of your grumpy moods?"

"Kicking that pirate's ass would get me out of my grumpy mood."

Yeah, she didn't blame the pirate for her condition. Well, she kept trying to convince herself of that. Of course, the longer she took to heal, the bitchier she got.

And then the thoughts of that pirate dead because of her would haunt through her mind and she would forget all about the ass-kicking and just be thankful that they were both alive.

Emma was still tempted to take Henry up on his offer and just send word to Killian Jones. She knew he was still there in Storybrooke, somewhere lurking around the edges of town.

"I could do it for you."

She lets out a laugh. "Thanks, David."

"No problem, darling."

With that, her dad kicks the car into gear and pulls out of the hospital parking lot. Emma settles back into the seat, looking out the window.

And then she sees it.

Or actually, _him._

Just for a split second, so quick that she thinks she imagined it.

But he's there.

There's a flash of a long black coat, a shine of indigo eyes.

And he's gone.

More than anything, she wants to see him. To really show him that she's okay. No matter how many times she really wanted to clean his clock, she needed to show him that she was okay. That she wouldn't take back what she did.

She wouldn't take any of it back.

Well, except leaving him behind on that stupid beanstalk.

**.**

**.**

* * *

**Unless I was totally out of my head, did Hook hit Belle in 2x09? I know it was a flashback to where he was trying to get to Rumple through Belle but did he seriously hit her? **

**There was a theory floating around that Captain Hook was actually Peter Pan once upon a time. He just seems like the proverbial lost boy and I wanted to apply that theory here. It kind of develops into that there's many Peter Pan's and when one leaves Neverland, another will step up. It also explains why such a young man would know so much about Neverland. It explains his loneliness, his sadness, and why he was so willing to trust Emma. **

**So Emma's healing nicely and is grumpy as hell. Can you blame her? Being hit by a car and breaking nearly every bone in her body entitles her to be bitchy. And Henry of course already recognizes the bond between Captain Hook and his mother. There are some canon events I will be going with from the show, but I want to put my own spin on things. And yes, Killian and Emma will be coming face to face next chapter. My muse is back, guys! **


	5. say

_**say**_

* * *

It's a full six weeks before the brace comes off her leg.

And that's when she sees his face for the first time since the night in the hospital.

Emma goes back to work on a crisp early spring morning. She decides to walk to the station, since her father has the squad car, and feels a sense of freedom. Hell yeah, why shouldn't she? Finally being free of that stupid-ass brace makes life seem just a little bit easier. Emma Swan has never been one to held back, even when injured or sick. The countless number of colds and fevers she had had growing up, she'd just plow right through them. The sprains and bruises from all the running and jumping, never paid them a second thought.

Of course, she had never been hit by a Ford SUV before.

Henry was at Regina's for the night so she had been alone at the loft. Her parents had finally backed off a bit when they saw how quickly she was healing and knew that the 'over-parenting' drove her just a little bit crazy. And then again, it wasn't until last week when Mary Margaret finally left the apartment to stay with David at the inn. A little bit of privacy for both parties, yes.

It's early, the town is still sleeping. Emma walks slowly along, crossing her fingers that no one decides to act like an idiot today and call her out of the office. She is keen on an easy first day back before getting back into the full swing of things. You would think that in a town full of fairy tale creatures, things wouldn't be too crazy but of course, she'd get a drunk dwarf here, a pissed off fairy there.

As Emma walks along the cobblestone street, that's when she sees the flash of black.

It's unmistakable.

Oh, no, he doesn't. Stupid pirate.

Acting like the idiot that she knows she is, Emma kicks up to a full run and chases after the pirate once he disappears around the corner by the inn. She ignores the throbbing pain in her leg and whirls around the corner herself, letting out an agonized groan when her knee threatens to give out on her.

"Killian, please don't run away!" she shouts, coming to a standstill as she tries to catch her breath. Damn, this leg is a _bitch. _And it's pissing her off.

She can hear footsteps.

His footsteps.

And then…

And _then…_

"You shouldn't be out like this, lass. You are still healing."

Those words stun her so heavily that she nearly topples over. In an instant, she feels his hands on her arms, steadying her. Once she focuses and looks into those stormy eyes, he jumps back, almost like he had been burned.

She stares at him for a second, struggling to understand.

Struggling to understand everything, absolutely _everything _that had happened. There was no logical reason for her to have saved him that night.

But she did.

And she wasn't taking it back.

"I did it, Killian," Emma says, finally finding her voice. "And I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I may have whined about it and been angry but that's the healing process. I'm still on a long road and it isn't ending any time soon."

Those stormy eyes look back at her, so full of pain and she feels them lash right through to her heart. Tears suddenly burn behind her own eyes and she swallows quickly.

"I am not worth it, Swan," he says.

Emma swallows back the groan of agony from the throbbing pain in her knee. Her hand darts out and comes to rest on his chest, her fingers dancing right above his beating heart.

"I'll be the judge of that, Hook," Emma whispers. With a wink, she turns on her booted heel and walks away.

He watches her go, feeling a small smile creasing his lips.

Maybe some of the loneliness could go away after all.

* * *

"How does it feel to be back?"

Emma smiles at her father, leaning back in her chair and stretching out her arms. "Oh, it feels great! Even if it is just paperwork."

David grins back at her, letting the pen fall from his hand. "I'm kind of glad. After that boneheaded move you pulled this morning, you should be a little achy."

"David, I had to talk to him. He's been avoiding me for six weeks."

"Well, maybe he has good reason. Since you barely know him and you threw yourself in front of a car for him, I think he does have a bit of a reason to avoid you."

Emma just huffs in her father's direction.

And that's when both of their buzzers go off.

David glances at his and his brow furrows.

"What is it?"

"This isn't a 911," he says. "This is Gold's private number."

Emma recites the number on hers and David confirms it.

"What the hell does Gold want?" Emma says.

"I don't know. But I do know if we don't go, he'll find us."

* * *

Emma had always found the antique shop quite interesting. Even if the shop owner creeped the hell out of her.

Full of crazy antiques that each held their own insane story. There was so much magic in the air, even in a place like this and it was fascinating. She understood why Belle was able to stand it.

"Belle? How are you?"

The small brunette gives her a small smile. "I'm all right, Sheriff-er, Emma. Still a little shaky but I guess that comes with the territory. I should be asking you the same question. How's the leg?"

"Oh, it's coming along. I'm fine."

"Belle? Would you mind giving us some privacy?"

Emma recognizes that tone of voice. So soft, so silky. And so dangerous.

The brunette excuses herself into the backroom. Once she disappears from view (and earshot), that's when Gold turns to the king and princess.

"I want to call in our deal," he says bluntly.

Emma's eyebrows threaten to disappear into her hair. "Excuse me?" It overrides David's 'what the hell-'

"You are all healed up after saving the pirate from what I would have happily subjected him too after what he did to Belle so you can do this for me."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Help me find my son."

Emma stares.

David steps forward, practically shielding Emma from Gold's view. "Are you out of your mind?! She can still barely walk! You have no right-" He stops when Emma's hand gently closes on his elbow.

"I have been tracking him," Gold says softly. "I have an idea where he is but I cannot follow him alone. I thought I could but I can't. And having Ms Swan with me works out perfectly."

"And what if I refuse?" Emma asks, her tone equally as soft. "If I say no?"

Gold just blinks.

And then...

"Every minute spent here is another minute closer to me killing Hook."

That did it.

"And you obviously do not want him dead or you wouldn't have thrown yourself in front of a speeding vehicle to save him."

Emma graciously feels stupid. She should have known that this was going to come back and bite her in the ass. Just because of her stupid inhibitions to not let a jackass pirate save his own damn life, she was going to have to be Rumpelstiltskin's little minion.

The magician continues on. "And even if that doesn't work, you know I will go after your family. Don't even think about thwarting me, Ms. Swan."

David steps forward again. "You goddamn son of a-"

"David, stop." Emma's hand tightens around his elbow. "He's right."

"What?! He's not-"

"He is," Emma says grimly. "And you know he will."

Those unspoken words hang heavy in the air.

"When do we leave?" Emma asks, not taking her hand off of her father's elbow.

"Sunrise tomorrow."

"I will be here."

* * *

It's around two when that familiar twinge in her leg wakes her up.

The doctor had been wrong. He hadn't been too worried about her leg and more worried about her hand after the accident but her hand had healed up nicely. It was her leg that was giving her trouble, but not much. She just hoped that it wouldn't screw her over on this little trip.

And then she sees him sitting in the armchair by the door. And nearly has a heart attack.

"Jesus, you're going to kill me one of these days," she moans once she catches her breath after her dramatic gasp.

Hook just looks at her. He freaking stares at her!

"Why?"

"Is that the only word that you know?" she replies scathingly.

The pirate pulls himself to his feet, almost tripping over the plush rug that she had put down by the door. Once his hand hit's the doorknob, he turns back, glaring at her.

"Do you have any idea what he is capable of, Swan?" he says. "How dangerous he is?"

"Of course I do, Hook," Emma says softly. "I've dealt with him too. I watched him try to murder you that night after you shot Belle." Aw crap. Shouldn't have said that, Swan.

There is a visible wince in the pirate's exterior before he settles back into the chair. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something and then closes it.

"Well, this is a first," Emma says, slowly pulling herself up into a sitting position. "Captain Hook at a loss for words."

"Do not sugarcoat this, lass," Hook replies with a snap.

"I am not sugarcoating anything, Hook," Emma snaps back. "I have to do this. I am a big girl, I can take care of myself." At his snort, she's tempted to chuck a pillow at his head. "Why do you care so much?! You don't owe me anything. This whole thing (she gestures to her leg and scarred hand), is over. It was my choice and you don't owe me a damn thing, do you understand?!"

The pirate's on his feet in a second. "I know that, Swan. I don't feel like I owe you anything!"

"Then why are you here? Why did you break into my apartment?"

"Because I am afraid!"

Okay, now Emma's at a loss for words.

She had seen the pirate open and vulnerable on top of that beanstalk, she had seen the shadow of pain in his eyes when she asked about his tattoo but she has never seen him look openly afraid, let alone admit it. And he's here, he's ready to admit it and for some reason, she feels her heart cracking just a little bit.

"Please don't," she finally whispers. "Please don't."

The pirate turns, eyes hard and stormy.

"I will be all right, Killian," she breathes, his first name forming on her lips so softly and sweetly. Almost like a lullaby. "This isn't going to be long and then I will be home."

"How do you know that?" he says softly. "How do you know he is not going to use you for his own purposes and then kill you?"

"There are a lot of things that Rumpelstiltskin is capable of but I don't believe he will go back on his own word."

"Are you sure about that?"

Damn, she hates it when he's right.

Emma finally kicks the covers off of her legs, slowly rising to her feet. She pads across the floor to where the pirate is firmly planted. She wonders for a moment if he is glued to the floor hence him not moving a muscle even when she reaches out.

And she does, she freaking reaches out to the man that nearly cost her her life. And you know what? She wants too.

She's not going to let an opportunity float by. She didn't die in that accident, she made her choice. She's alive and kicking and she's not going to make anymore mistakes. Her ultimate mistake was allowing herself to trust Neal even though there was something telling her that she shouldn't. And then letting go of her little boy and not finding him until ten years later.

She's got her life back. She's got her parents and her son. She's not about to let a stupid deal piss her life away.

She's not about to let this pirate go.

"I trust you," Emma breathes, their eyes meeting. She feels like she is forcing him to look at her because really, her ceiling isn't that interesting.

That's when he stares at her. Even he wasn't so good looking, she'd find it a bit creepy.

"And I need you to do me a favor," she says.

"Anything."

That's what comes out of his mouth. Not a 'what' or a 'why'.

"Keep watch over Henry. With me going with Gold, my parents are going to be a little worried. Okay, a lot worried. Just—just makes sure he stays out of trouble."

The tiniest of smiles breaks across his lips. "With him being your lad, you can bet that he will try to follow you."

Emma chuckles softly. "Please, just watch him."

"I will."

Emma settles back on her heels, unable to really process everything that has just come out of her mouth. It's only a few moments but it's there. It hangs so high in the air and she knows how real it is.

She trusts him. She has no freaking idea why but she does.

Killian's hand slowly slips up, the very tips of his fingers brushing against her cheek.

"Be safe."

**.**

**.**

* * *

**God, I am so sorry this is so late. I hit another round of writer's block and only just broke it last night. **

**Yes, I am following some canon events, like Emma going to Manhattan with Gold to find Baelfire and finding Neal. But I will say right now, Neal has actually moved on from Emma and isn't madly in love with her anymore. He and she will have that connection because of Henry but there is absolutely no love between them. **

**Emma's already recognizing how she feels about Killian and she's not as stubborn about her feelings, so she's a little OOC of course. But I don't want to write that kind of story where they are dancing around their feelings for thirty chapters, they know already. He is the first man she has trusted in ten years and she is the first woman that he finds he can look at and see himself finding a life with since Milah. **

**Let's face it, guys. They're meant to be. **

**Much love to all of you. Have a safe week! **

**.**

**.**


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